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What can I do with elderly parents who can't take care of themselves?

Updated: Mar 15


Older Adult with their frail elderly mother embracing

It might be difficult to deal with parents who are incapable of caring for themselves.


You can experience stress, annoyance, and confusion regarding how to assist them. There are a number of things you can do to help them and make sure they get the care they require. Here are some recommendations:


1. Thoroughly examine the problem before acting:


Before doing anything, it's important to fully understand your parents' predicament. This entails comprehending their level of independence, their state of bodily and mental health, and their living circumstances. Get a professional evaluation of their needs by speaking with a healthcare expert or a social worker, if necessary.



2. Have an open and honest conversation:


It's critical to have an honest discussion with your parents after you have a better knowledge of their circumstance. Although having this conversation can be challenging, it's crucial to voice your concerns and consider their viewpoint.


You might need to talk about your alternatives for further care and assistance.


3. Take into account hiring a carer:


Based on your parents' demands, it can be important to do so in order to provide more assistance. Activities of daily life including bathing, dressing, and cooking can be helped with by carers. Also, they can offer company and help with transportation to medical appointments.


4. Investigate local resources:


There are numerous localities with resources to assist senior citizens. They might include elder centres, transportation services, and meal delivery services. To find out what options are available in your region, get in touch with your local Area Agency on Aging.


5. Make a future plan:


Make a future plan to ensure that your parents' needs are satisfied as they age. Making a future plan is crucial. Making a long-term care plan, talking about final desires, and, if necessary, looking into assisted living or nursing facility care choices are all possible steps in this process.


6. Get professional advice:


The two key areas that need external advice will be legal advice and financial advice.

In the event that your parents are unable to look after themselves, you may need to take legal and financial action to protect their welfare. This could entail setting up a trust, acquiring power of attorney, or making a living will. To discuss your alternatives, go to a lawyer or financial advisor.


7. Request assistance:


Taking care of elderly parents can be mentally and physically taxing. It's critical to look for support from family, friends, or groups. To help you deal with the difficulties of taking care of your parents, you could also find counselling or therapy helpful.


8. Look after yourself:

Inflight safety cards will always tell you to first put the mask on your own face before putting it on your child's face, because you won't be able to further help if you're incapacitated or unconscious.

In the same manner it's crucial to look after yourself when taking care of your ageing parents. This entails getting adequate sleep, maintaining a nutritious diet, and engaging in regular exercise.


It also entails setting aside time for oneself and doing things that make you happy and relax.


In conclusion, taking care of elderly parents who are unable to care for themselves can be difficult, but there are a number of things you can do to help them and make sure they get the care they require.


It's crucial to evaluate the circumstance, have an open and honest discussion, take into account hiring a carer, look into local resources, plan for the future, seek assistance, receive legal and financial guidance, and take care of yourself.


You can protect your personal wellbeing while ensuring that your parents receive the assistance and care they require.


How My SOS Family emergency SOS service could help support you taking care of elderly parents;


If you've ever used a public toilet especially one that can be used by disabled users and any toilet in every hospital you'll notice an emergency pull cord (usually red) or an emergency button, staff will then come and help as they are notified either by a loud alarm , flashing lights or other notification at the service desk / reception desk.


My SOS Family works in exactly the same way, it's as easy as pressing a big red onscreen button in the app, talking to the phone or a smart speaker like Alexa and saying "Alexa My SOS Family" or "Alexa get help from MY SOS FAMILY", or simply speed-dialing a number that's been set in the phone as a contact, then family, friends, carers, neighbours can come and help.


Get the App and try it free for 30 days with no obligation and see how you can support your elderly parents:












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